23
Hapless Hens/Contest Results

July 20 '98

Dear Henlistees, Firstly, the contest results. Only two people - Ian Kilvert and David Auger - picked France to win the World Cup. Bruce McDougall came close (he had the French thing right) by picking a hockey team called the Montreal Canadiens. Congrats to the two winners and sorry to those who picked other teams. Incidentally, nobody went for Croatia. Holland was the sentimental fave, all the way from Auburn Alabama up to Bathurst St. in Toronto. A few unfortunate souls, with dreams of a gratis CD dancing before their eyes, ignored their instincts and took the heavily favoured Brazil. And then they sat down and watched the whole thing go up in smoke.

You know who you are.

Well, speaking of things going up in smoke, get this: Demon Records, our trusty European label, our Key to the Continent whose board of directors boasted Elvis Costello *and* Nick Lowe, has been BOUGHT, of all bloody things, by some scary sounding group called Crimson Productions. As our inside man at Demon put it (so British and understated), "plans and priorities for the Demon label have been modified." Well, no guff. And now the other shoe's dropping. Guess what else just got dropped ... The Hens! All dressed up with our new CD and nowhere to go. Crimson Productions heard "Desert Cure" and ran for cover. There goes Europe, poof!

We searched "Crimson Productions" on the Net and found a bunch of stuff about a religious group. But that couldn't be the same company, could it? Getting into the rock and roll biz in the name of the Good Lord? But drawing a line at The Hens and our song "Shaves From the Alive One"?

Or might this be some Internetic Karma comin' back at Hencorp? The Memphis thing perhaps? Those turnip truck guys? Or Pennsylvania and the whole cooking-bad-food-south-of-the-border issue? Oh boy, who else did we slag in those heady we-don't-need-the-Yanks-cause-we-own-Europe salad days? Janet Reno? (Yes.) Oooooh, if we could have those letters back now! Awwww darn, why did we do it??? Why weren't we NICER?? We're on our knees. Hencorp Redux(?). We're sooooo sorry....contrite. Supplicant.

Pathetic.

Oh, woe is Hank.

Did we ever tell you how much, all kidding aside, that we love the U.S.A.? I mean, any nation that can come up with Robert Frank (well, okay, born in Switzerland and living in Nova Scotia - but he *did* do that amazing photo collection called "The Americans"), Walker Percy, Ry Cooder, Buddy Emmons, Johnny Depp ... ya gotta love 'em, the whole countryfull. We sure do! Anybody out there know any good U.S. distributors? Or European? Or Canadian? Or central west-end Toronto even? There's a free CD in it fer ya.

If not, there's always a bright side: We might have a bona fide collector's item on our hands with this new disc. Well, that's it for now from the Henfile. Hope y'all are well. Yours, the once great empire, now regrouping (in more ways than one), Hencorp P.S. We have a few gigs looming in Sept. Details to follow. Harbourfront in Toronto and maybe the Bottom Line in NYC. Stay tuned.

 

Here to go to the next letter.

 

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