14

HenReaders Write Back

June 6, 1997

On CBC radio, "As It Happens" recently reported that cows, while being milked, provide more product if music is piped into the barn. Specifically, claims Enright, they'll produce to the song called "Get Out the Shovel" by The Henrys. Plants grow vigorously under the same conditions. And certain vegetables.

Well, speaking of certain vegetables, it would be stretching verisimilitude to say that relations between XXX/XXXX and The Hanks are improving. Okay, maybe we pulled a bit of a Fuzzy Zoeller and mouthed off, e-style, with that "libelous" communique, but not to put too fine a point on it, we ARE getting hosed. It's probably obvious by now that on some minor level we like it. You've gotta know Blind Lemon Jefferson and Robert Johnson weren't getting the limo treatment from their labels, so there's an ancient dues-paying vibe to it all, which helps our cache.

HOWEVER, just to prove we're not obsessive-compulsive, we aim to change the subject. Referring now to some old Henmail at the bottom of your in-baskets, we're proud to update you on a few issues, socio-culturally speaking. Thanks for this goes to our readership, who shall remain herein uncredited for their insights, since they didn't exactly ask to have their work held up before the class. (And we do know that feeling.) Check this out:

Regarding our report on SXSW, the state of Texas, and a certain menu item (the sauce with the funny name), a southern-fried, Texas-based, great-singin' friend wrote back with this info:

Coonass is a 'colorful' southern term meaning Cajun or Acadian. You can actually call a person coonass to his/her face (your coonass and my face) and it's considered somewhat of a compliment! All that originated in Canada anyway, so ya prob'ly aughttta know about it. You know, 'way up at the top of the Mississippi---or where the Miss comes from? See ya subsequently! (Charlie was also the person that '60s Zap Comics cartoon character Fat Freddy of The Furry Freak Brothers was modeled after. That's when he was fat.)

If I don't see you in the near future, I'll see you in the pasture!

Love, M

About the fissure between band and above-alluded-to US label, and our new entrepreneurial spirit, over the transom at Hencorp came the following comments:

  Can't wait to check the CURIO SHOPPE. Keep me posted, and remember - you've still got a friend in NooYawk (maybe just one, but I'm faithful.)jd

Hi Hank!!! Hows it going?????? So glad to hear that you are unfettered and alive flying high over the hen house!! Go Trainrec go!!!! m.

Sure would like to read your views on what to beware of and look for in distribution deals.

What's the bastard's name? e-mail address?

:-) The Johnny Rottens of Hawaiian jazz. Love it. Love it to death. this is great...

Brandish that kona and smite them.

Kind of fascinating to hear about the reaction from the
Land of the Free.

Well folks, thanks. In that snowy land just north of the land of the free, the walking wounded we shall apparently be, making a heroic journey to a couple of gigs here, a demo session there, pre-production for our Spring '98 CD, charity work, etc. We played in Guelph right after an 80-voice male Finnish choir, but apparently they still felt like singing during our gig too, so we gracefully deferred everytime their odd little conductor motioned to us to cool it. We were reminded then why we're an instrumental band. And we almost did a gig at The Stardust Ball, July 11th and 13th at Fort York in Toronto, but had to decline in favour of a recline. There the Hens could have been performing under the same skies as the likes of Steve Earle, Blue Rodeo, Oh Susannah and others. Only diff being we were to play the cool, Mimi-booked stage, and they'd be on some oversized Woodstock Wannabe stage. (Funnily enough, for a gig or two back when we were getting our feet wet as a band, we were called the Fort Henrys. And now we go and nearly get a gig at a real FORT, of all places, one probably meant to fight YANKEES from, and right when we're declaring our own internecine war - it could have been perfect!)

Anyway, now that we're nicely back on topic: What are The Hanks gonna to do about the declaration of war on their ex-North American record company? As it turns out, for the time being we'll be all bark and no bite. We'd LIKE to declare friggin war, that's what we'd LIKE to do. "Yeeeehaw! Look out you ... fine .... gentlefolk, this here's E-WAR! There goes yer rep-ye-tation, squandered fer a few grand, shot all to heck in a good ole Internet E-WAR! Cover your ears, ya lame-spellin' editors, The Hanks mean to ambush us a label!"

Onward ho, Christian Henrys!

But alas, we can't. We've been told so by our esteemed in-house counsel. Nope, not until we take 'em on legal-style first. (Yawn.) Till then, we're muzzled.

Well, we do hope to see a few of you at the Oasis, 10:00 Friday the 13th (40 mins only as part of NXNE); or even better, at C'est What around 10:00 on Saturday, June 21st, for a longer set. If you show up, maybe we can hoist a micro-brew and talk some downhome, ornery, scurrilous, libelous music bidness, jes' fer kicks. And if you need a copy of Chasing Grace, the Henbasement's suddenly brimming.

P.S. Let's hope Rick Danko gets out of Japan someday soon!