Head Henrys Honcho Gets a Muzzle!

May 11, 1997

Henrys Probably Off to Court for the Second Time in a Month! Head Henrys Honcho Gets A Muzzle! Could Do Time up in the Big House! Litigiousness Supplants Chuckles in the New Electronic Society!

Judge: "What in the WORLD were you thinking, Henry, when you slandered your old record company on the Net?" Hencorp: "Well, I wasn't really *thinking*, per se, your honour. No, I wouldn't characterize it as 'thinking'. I was just kind of ... you know ... venting. To what I thought was a small group of friends." Judge: "Ten years. Plus $50,000 bucks for stupidity. Next case."

Brrr. Well folks, it seems a certain "libelous" emailing from Hencorp (for your ref., Henrys Free at Last! 07/05/97) made its way onto the Internet at large, to a folkie list in the U.S. The leak sprang through a well-intentioned compatriot whose idea was to keep the flow of information ...uhhh... flowing. Hoping other bands might be able to make their big decisions better-informed in light of our misdirection.

The editor of a folkie mag from Pennsylvania took offence to the Henmailing.

WHOAH MOMMA did this guy take OFFENCE! Harnessing all his scatological ammo, our "posting" was characterized thusly:

"Inflamatory [sic] drivel ... particular feces ... rumor-mongering ... rather presumtuous [sic] ...a diatribe ... innuendo masquarading [sic] as fact ..."

There was more, gentle reader, but even freedom of speech has its limits. (We're now learning.) A shaken Hencorp withdrew. Perplexed, bemused, scratching our corporate noggin on several fronts.

Such as:

- how many millions of people read this damn thing and formed a spontaneous, ad hoc, coast-to-coast Henrys Hate Club?
- if we were as cool as the Sex Pistols, would we care?
- how many more records can we sell thanks to this publicity?
- should we hire Howard Stern's press agent to capitalize?
- what's "particular" about the faeces?
- does this mean we should refrain from sending our next CD to this fellow for review? (sidebar: didn't spelling used to be a pre-req for an editor's gig?)
- what weird creature spawned these self-appointed net-nannies, individual arbiters of morality and fair play, and definers of words like "libel"? Will the Hanks be up before THAT court? Rising, trembling, the Johnny Rottens of Hawaiian Jazz, reduced. Standing for what we think is right ... for the little guy. For free speech, and speech free of coprology. (And typos.) For just that *right* amount of (alleged) libel in a posting. Against big business and ferociously in favour of the individual. And where do you think all that good Woody Guthrie stuff will land us?

Right back in the jug. Enjoy your freedom, loyal Henfan, even as we go down fighting for it.

See you in 8 to 10.

 

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